‘Fed-Up!’ from Musings of a Mualaf’s blog

FED-UP

Aliya,
i am a follower of your blog. i am chinese muslim for 5 years, married with 3 children. in beginning i lived like good muslimah but now i begin to get fedup. i know it not right but i donno what to do oredi. my husband want me to be solehah wife and mother, but he doesnt teach me islam bcoz he busy with work and come back late. my husband good man but always busy. my 3 children are still small and need me to always care for them. i work in office and when i get home, i have no rest bcoz i have to care for the children pulak. i have no maid bcoz husband cannot pay. i look back and think my life before i become muslim better and more happy than now. of course i love my family but i cannot tahan everytime got problems. before i become muslim i am buddhist. i dont have many problems like now. now got money problem, children sick problem, husband not home problem, work problem. i very tired have to do all myself. i read that problem is test from allah to test i believe in allah or not. i know i am not very strong in islam. i look strong, people say i good muslimah bcoz i wear tudung, but i dont feel like a good muslimah. i tired of test from allah. i dont want anymore allah test. i oredi tired with so many problems, i donno what to do if i get new test from allah. i cannot talk to husband this problem bcoz he will scold me and tell me to zikir and pray more. how to pray and zikir more when i always tired and got new test? sometimes i feel like leaving and go back to old life bcoz old life no many problems. i stay bcoz i love my husband and children. please tell me what to do.i dont care if u put in your blog bcoz i want answers. i tired and dont want anymore test from allah. i dont want to murtad but i fedup with so many problems, non stop always got problems, no rest. i see other muslim not so difficult life compare to me. why must i be the one to get this tests and problems. how to ask allah not to give me any more test and problems? why other people dont get so many test from allah? why me, when i oredi cannot tahan anymore.

jamilah
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Assalamualaikum,
Ada siapa yang boleh bantu nasihat sister ini?
Saya ada hal lain, hanya sempat pos emel dia sekarang, untuk renungan semua.
Terima kasih, wassalam.

3 comments:

The Tea Drinker said…

suami dia kena support dia lebih. masalah yg disebut2 pun bukannya exklusif kepada orang Islam tu. orang agama mana2 pun dapat masalah tu.

orang Islam pun ramai dapat masalah camtu cuma rasanya kita dah biasa dengan konsep usaha dan berserah maka masalah itu tidak ganggu teruk sangat. macam saya pernah dengan masalah kewangan, campur lagi anak kerap sakit dan macam2 lagi masa tu. tp kita tau, kalau tak diuji macam mana nak tau kita betul2 beriman dan sabar? dan sekarang dia tau sejauh mana sayang dia kat suami dan anak.

panjang ni kalau nak nasihat pun. perlu face to face. jadi eloknya dia jumpa la ustazah mana2 untuk consultation.

[nurfarahsyakirah] said…

I tried to comment here but maybe my comment is too long so I have to post it using my blog.

This is my letter for sister Jamilah. 🙂

http://therockinghijab.blogspot.com/2011/09/advice-from-revert-to-revert.html

Hariz Khair Ad-Deen said…

Salam…

Stahu sy, Allah akn mnguji seseorg itu, hnya ssuai mngikut kmampuannya. Jika saudari diuji spt itu, dn rsa xmmpu. Pcayalah, sbnanye saudari mmpu! Cuma, tkdng, diri kita yg cba mnolak kmmpuan yg ad, dn mngatakn pd dri kita yg kita sdah tak mmpu… wpn hkikatnya, kita mmpu shj utk terus sabar dn btahan.

inshaAllah, ykinlah jua pdNya, slps ksushn ad kmudhn. (surah As-Syarh)

Stuju jga, dgn kta2 the tea drinker, mslh2 ni, bkn ekslusif dr Islam je. ini mslh2 yg tdk asing, mncul dlm khidupn, dn inshaAllah, bleh dislesaikn, mlalui usaha, prbincangn, dn doa kpd Allah.

wallahu’alam. apa2pn, sy nsihatkn, fikir jauh2 dlu, sblm buat apa2 kputusn. igt Allah, dlm apa2 jua situasi. cba bsangka baik pdNya. mudah2an, Allah mmpermudhkn urusan saudari. inshaAllah

mgkin saudari bleh jga tgk link2 ni, utk mngaut motivasi dn kkuatan sdikit sbyk.. biiznillah 🙂

http://onekuliah.blogspot.com/2011/04/dr-asri-suratan-kebetulan.html

http://www.iluvislam.com/inspirasi/motivasi/3018-aku-tidak-mampu.html

Conflicts between Shariah & Civil Courts by Azril Mohd Amin

BY AZRIL MOHD AMIN

The following are brief answers prepared by Hj. Abdul Rahim Sinwan, Deputy President, Muslim Lawyers Association of Malaysia, in response to questions posed by the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) recently on the issue of conflicts between Shariah and Civil Courts. The BBC piece which quoted him appeared here.

I have made minor editing to the original text.

Conflicts between Shariah and Civil Courts

With reference to your queries and short notice, in deriving any perception of law especially with regards to Islam and Muslim in Malaysia, one must appreciate aspects of Federalism and relations with Malay rulers and states and in seeking solution within the framework of the Federal constitution. Having such backdrop will reduce or perhaps eradicate misconception and having slanted or biased deduction of Muslims, Islam and Malays. All of this must point to the relevance of Malaysia law and the legal system.

Q.1

Is the association concerned with the number of cases trying to challenge the conflicts between Shariah and civil courts?

The association advocates educating the public at large as one of the main thrust of our objectives. Currently the Legal position of Muslims and Islam under the Federal Constitution enjoys the limelight in present context in conflicts of Shariah and Civil courts.

Q.2

In child custody battles the non-Muslim parent say they should not subject themselves to the Shariah courts because it has no jurisdiction over them. What do you make of this argument?

The issue of jurisdiction of courts is a dicey issue when one approaches it without appreciating the backdrop mentioned earlier. Please note that the Shariah never stop non- muslims from seeking justice in Shariah court, in fact Shariah Court open its doors to non-muslim witnesses and litigants, cases of Nonya Tahir in Negeri Sembilan and Fatimah Teh in Pulau Pinang.

Non Muslims can submit to Shariah court jurisdiction, it is a fallacy that Shariah court is religious, the court is another system which can be alternative or in fact complement to the present civil system, the jurisdictional demarcation of the dual system is found under 121 1(1A) of the Federal Constitution.

The Law Reform Act (LRA) is modeled on the common law which historically a Christian Marriage and divorce law. In fact in Malaysia it took not less than 6 years for the law to be effectively invoked as there were resentment to its acceptance by the diverse religious group namely Buddhist, Hindus, Sikh and others because by accepting marriage under LRA it ran against their religion and customs.

Muslims are not subject to this law! The Non Muslim especially the non Christian for now has another alternative if they submit to the jurisdiction of the Shariah Court. The Shariah Court is invoking a system it does not force religion, would it be fair that the common law in Malaysia legal system invoke Christian religion to litigants and witnesses in present context.

Q.3

In conversion cases, why should the Muslim have to go to Shariah courts to seek permission as opposed to the civil courts? Is it realistic to say Shariah courts would grant this since the court is based on the Islamic faith?

Reference in respect of Conversion cases in Malaysia is a settled law as to which court the party must go as in the case ofLina Joy case. The apex court has decided, the very purpose that Lina Joy sought remedy at Civil court for an answer has been answered by the apex court, she chose certainty of forum to opt out of Islam has been clearly answered by the Apex court! Civil Court has no jurisdiction to define faith and decide Muslim faith of a person.

Whether one is a muslim or not is not within the jurisdiction of Civil court, the best forum is Shariah court because even Mufti, mullah, Imam or even Islamic institution namely JAKIM can do that!

Lina Joy has shied away the solution she initiated. Take note the Apex Court has decided.

Q.4

So far the civil courts have shied away from making a decision in these constitutional challenges. Do you see a resolution to these cases?

The Civil courts make decision based on issues challenging the constitutionality of matters pertaining to Islam and Muslims. It would be unfair when the court judged otherwise it would be construed to be biased! Litigants were given every opportunity to advance their contention and argument. The adversarial system in Malaysia follows the “stare decisis” where the higher court binds the lower court and the higher court sets precedents to development of law in Malaysia. There would not be certainty to law if the “sour grape syndrome” is advocated.

Q.5

There is a perception that Shariah courts will favour Muslims over non-muslims (in custody cases) and against Muslim converts. What do you think of this perception?

Such perception is a fallacy. It’s an old message forever new! Shariah Court welcome non muslim litigant in seek remedy in Shariah court, it would be an insult to muslims that Shariah Court does not know to dispense justice! Shariah court is as misunderstood as the religion Islam itself, a misnomer not to non- muslims but also to many muslims! Therefore one of the very purposes of our association is to educate the public at large.

Sacrifice of a brave journalist by ACP (Rtd) Osman Bakar

Sacrifice of a brave journalist

It is indeed a sad day for Malaysia and in particular to the Malaysian humanitarian group to Somalia. Noramfaizul Mohd Noor a member of the media group went with a mission to record all activities of the humanitarian group in Somalia and died a hero. However this was destined to happen and the risks are obvious to everyone. A war journalist can never avoid risks and that includes death.
However some important factors need to be focused to ensure the safety of future mission members and to maintained a high level of alertness. Recollecting my experience while in the Balkan, upon our arrival a security brief was given to all mission members. We knew clearly about the risks we faced and everyone of us left everything to Almighty God. The dos and the don’ts were made clear to us before we went on our various assignments. But although much was said  we have to accept that  fate knows no one and can strike without notice and this can be painful to accept.
Also on mission like this, like it or not, all  should wear the flak jacket and helmet as a precaution each time on assignment as danger lurks in every corner. Hopefully future missions to conflict areas anywhere in the globe should undergo a proper briefing before departure as well as upon arrival. Necessary equipments should also be supplied to each and every member of the group including communication.
Members should   be physically fit as conditions, in particular, in conflict areas demands this. Probably some form of training is conducted here before departure to expose members to circumstances they might encounter at their destination.
Whatever the situation, what was done cannot be undone and what is more important here is that a lesson is learnt from this unfortunate incident. In a conflict area like Somalia, although the government is responsible for the safety of everyone, they cannot be totally blamed. One must clearly remember that the government faced limitations by years of conflict and the individuals concerned have to ensure his or her own security in a volatile zone like in Somalia.
We must also accept that this  will not be the end and it will happen again because the risks are always there and everyone on a mission like this understands this very well.
In conflict areas the  risks cannot be eradicated totally. So at this juncture there is no point crying over spilt milk but instead we should focus our efforts to  improve standards and plan for future missions.
Noramfaizul Mohd Noor, may Allah SWT bless your soul and the family should remain strong in the face of such a calamity. It is hoped that whatever promises made to the family by the government is not mere lip service but will be a reality.
Noramfaizul Mohd Noor, may Allah bless your soul. Alfatihah.
ACP (Rtd) Osman Bakar blogs at http://obee-mancuso.blogspot.com

Congratulations to Cikgu Nur Aliya Yeoh on Ihsan’s safe delivery!

Alhamdulillah! We are so grateful to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala for blessing our MBA member Cikgu Nur Aliya Yeoh with another son. This future mujahid is named Ihsan.

On behalf of the MBA, I wish Cikgu Aliya and Ihsan all the best in their future. Ikram now has a baby brother to keep him and his mom company.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri Aliya! May you be well and happy with your beloved sons and hubby!

Ameen Ya Rabbal Alameen!

Cikgu Aliya blogs at http://pukullima.blogspot.com/

MBA congratulates Sis Zabrina on her safe delivery of Tariq!

Alhamdulillah! It is with the greatest pleasure that we welcome Sis Zabrina’s son Tariq into the realm of this earthly life.

We are grateful to Almighty Allah for enabling Sis Zabrina to deliver her future mujahid with ease and she herself be returned to us safe and sound.

On behalf of each and every MBA member, I take this opportunity to wish Sis Zabrina well and that may she and her son Tariq be blessed by Allahu Ta’ala with the best of this life and in the next, Insya Allah.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Sis. Maaf Zahir Batin!

Sis Zabrina is a well established author and she blogs at http://wisdomthruwords.blogspot.com/